There are many diverse approaches to parenting, and a short look around the playground at the local park will reveal instances of anything from the permissive parent to the dictatorial parent. You may also come across examples of “helicopter parents.”
Table of Contents
Helicopter parenting refers to a type of parenting that is characterized by excessive levels of oversight and involvement. These parents hover above their children much as a helicopter might. In most cases, they insert themselves into every facet of their children subsists, even when doing so might be detrimental to the children.
Parents who operate like helicopters have a propensity to monitor their children’s extracurricular activities and academic performance with exceptional attentiveness. Their goals are not just to shield their children from suffering and failure but also to assist them in achieving success. Helicopter parents refers to parents who are notorious for micromanaging their children’s lives and becoming overly involved in every facet of their children’s daily activities.
History of helicopter parents
A book published in 1969 and titled “Between Parent and Teenager” is credited as being the first publication to use the term “helicopter parent.” The young man who served as the book’s main subject said that his mother followed him around like a helicopter. Subsequently, many college superintendents use this term to denote to parents who continuously try and watch over their children. It is from a remoteness after they have gone away to study, and the term has spread to incorporate all domineering parents. The term was first used to refer to parents who continued to try and watch over their children after they had gone away to college.
Reason for helicopter parents
The instinct to shield one’s offspring from harm is an understandable one. It is natural to want what is best for one’s children, including that they achieve their goals and mature into responsible people. However, there are instances when parents, whether out of love or for some other reason, might struggle with the temptation to place an excessive amount of burden and guard on their children.
One of the key motivations for helicopter parenting is the desire to provide a childhood for one’s children that is fundamentally different from the one that the parents had. If you had a difficult upbringing, for example, because one of your parents was absent or did not support you, you may wish to do things differently when you have children of your own. It’s possible that they desired their own parents were more interested in the way they performed in school or the activities they participated in.
Because of the stress, they feel to perform well as parents and to ensure the success of their children. Some parents end up adopting this approach to raising their children. Every parent wishes for their offspring’s happiness, health, and love to come first in their lives. The strain that parents feel to have successful children might drive them to place an unreasonable amount of pressure on their own children. This is an unreasonable expectation, but it’s common for parents to believe that if their kid is struggling in one area, it’s because of anything they did wrong as a parent. This might lead their children to experience stress as well as possible feelings of resentment.
A helping hand
It might be difficult for children to develop a sense of independence when they have a strong need to be needed. There are, however, those parents who are very concerned about the mental and physical well-being of their children and do all they can to protect them from harm. As a direct result of this, they can feel the need to keep a tight eye on their children. Some parents think that preventing their children from ever being disappointed or failing in any endeavor is preferable to really put their children through these types of situations in life and feeling the associated emotions.
Even helicopter childrearing isn’t necessarily a terrible thing, especially when it’s not carried to the extreme, specialists warn that this kind of parenting might possibly be harmful to your children in the long term. This is especially true if you take helicopter parenting to the limit. Find out some of the symptoms of helicopter parenting as well as what the recommendations of experts are for parents to do in order to foster a sense of independence in their children while yet ensuring their safety.
Helicopter parenting symptoms
The characteristics of overprotective or overinvolved parents are what most individuals think of when they think of helicopter parents. On the other hand, this definition may, at times, be too restrictive. These are the parents that are constantly aware of what’s going on, but they take it all the way to the next level.
Helicopter parents have a tendency to be too active in their children’s lives from an early age all the way through college, to the point that their kids’ own pursuits and pastimes take second place. Because of this, the financial plan for the family must also take into account the requirements and preferences of the children.
However, there are several facets to be considered while discussing helicopter parenting. These parents place an excessive amount of pressure on their children to excel in the classroom or in extracurricular activities in certain instances. In other instances, they protect their children from specific subjects and do things for them rather than educating them themselves. There is no one definition of “helicopter parenting” that applies to every family.
In a similar vein, helicopter parents have the propensity to overschedule their children in an attempt to provide them with an advantage in a variety of areas, including but not limited to academics, athletics, and musical performance. They could even attempt to control their child’s social status and connections with other kids. The objective is to provide their children with as many opportunities as they possibly can.
In general, helicopter parents tend to have a sense of pride in the fact that they are so active in their children’s lives and often do not perceive anything wrong with the manner in which they raise their children. They see their acts as a method to demonstrate their love for their kid while also ensuring their child’s safety and assisting them in achieving success in the outside world.
Advantages of helicopter parents
Although the phrase helicopter parent is taken in a negative manner, there are some positive aspects to this parenting style. You can typically depend on the children of helicopter parents to come on time, to have their schoolwork completed, and to be ready for the activities that they have signed up for. When it comes to dealing with whatever they are going through in their life, their children often get a great deal of support and assistance from their parents.
Know their child‘s limitations
In a similar vein, parents who hover like a hawk over their children are often quite aware of their children’s whereabouts and how well they are doing in school. If their kid is having difficulty in school or their grades are declining, the parent will do all in their power to help their child. The same may be said for conditions such as sickness, problems with bullying, or worries about mental health. Helicopter parents are going to put in an incredible amount of effort to ensure that these concerns are handled.
In addition, helicopter parents have often engaged parents who are the foremost to offer for school events or to participate in a parent-teacher meeting held at the school. Because of this, schools, instructors, and coaches may all get advantages from time, effort, and money that they invest into making the school, the classroom, or the squad the greatest that it can be.
Disadvantages of helicopter parenting
However, becoming too engaged in the lives of children might be detrimental to their development. Children may develop feelings of suffocation and passivity as a result. They may also have difficulty maintaining their autonomy and independence.
Kids of all ages require problem-solving abilities. Children need to know how to attack their own problems and proactively solve them on their own. This is true even if they’re struggling with something as simple as reading. However, hovering parents often step in at the first indication of difficulty, preventing their children from gaining crucial experience in finding solutions to problems.
Parents who hover like helicopters over their children run the risk of turning their children into helpless dependents. If a mother to a certain chore of the child everyday, the child will not learn how to do this for themselves and will be chronically late. It is the obligation of parents to teach their children how to live successfully without them.
Fewer leadership skills
The majority of the time, helicopter parents will advocate on their children’s behalf rather than teach them how to argue for themselves. When children have a need for something, it is essential for them to be able to communicate this need, ask questions, and get explanations. These children will not have a parent who is able to assist them in dealing with difficult tasks or supervisors while they are in school or when they are working.
Children who are subjected to their parents’ continual surveillance may develop the false belief. It is that they are incapable of doing anything successfully. If they continue to be subjected to helicopter parenting and micromanagement throughout their teenage years and early adulthood. This may cause them to have difficulties with their sense of self-worth as they become older. A parenting style known as “helicoptering” may lead to difficulties in areas such as self-esteem,. Also, problem-solving, coping, decision-making, social interaction, and responsibility. As well as difficulties in adaptive functioning.
Dealing with pressure situations
Children must experience the natural repercussions of their actions in this life. When parents do not step in to help, it is inevitable that their children will have to face the repercussions. It is of their actions when they are unsuccessful. In spite of this, the vast majority of parents nowadays hover over their children’s actions. It is like a hovering helicopter in an effort to shield them from any unfavorable outcomes.
Motivating your child to be independent
If you have a habit of hovering over your kid like a helicopter, you should really consider whether or not you should pull back a little bit. It is to ensure that you are providing your child the space they need to develop. Also, acquire new skills, and recover from setbacks on their own. However, letting go of that control could be a source of concern for you.
Talk to a trained expert if you find that you are unable to manage the stress or concern. It is that you experience as a result of allowing your kid to participate in activities. Those that are acceptable for their age on their own. It is essential for your child’s growth and education that you give them the opportunity to make errors. Also, deal with the emotional fallout of those mistakes, endure natural consequences. And figure out how to handle their own issues.
Failing is alright
Failure is never enjoyable, but it always results in valuable life experiences. Failure is an unavoidable part of the process of maturation. And it doesn’t matter whether it happens at school, in an activity, or in a sport. Allowing your children to experience failure won’t set them back in life in any way. In point of fact, mistakes are valuable learning opportunities.
These little setbacks and disappointments provide youngsters with opportunities to practice resilience. And aid in their development of the ability to manage challenging emotions. Even while it may be challenging for parents to see their children going through challenging emotions. Doing so is beneficial for the children. Since it teaches them that these feelings are fleeting and that they have the ability to manage them. Children develop the self-confidence they need to be able to manage such challenging situations. It is in the future by going through challenging experiences and coming out on top.
- There is no one correct or ideal method to raise a kid; this is true of everything in life, including parenting. In the same vein, there are pros and cons to practicing what some call “helicopter parenting.”